This is Why Trayvon Was Murdered

Last night, before going to bed to dream of spilled olive oil and socks that don’t fit, I signed into Facebook and read this:
“I Love Macon.
I love getting felt up every time I go dancing.
I love hearing police sirens every night.
I love stopping at red lights, and locking my doors because I’m afraid of getting carjacked.
I love being panhandled every time I go grocery shopping.
I love hearing gunshots.
I love having more pawn shops than clothing stores.
I love homophobic racist sexist old money rednecks.
I love it that “culture” is one theater.
I love disobeying my GPS when it tries to take me through the ghetto.
I love being scared of every black person I meet outside of campus.
I love the asinine way they handle rape victims.
I love hearing about Macon doctors laughing at AIDS victims.
I love the confederate flag.
I love when my air conditioning unit is stolen for copper.
I love it when my house is robbed.
I love it when my roommates are beaten.
I love it when the police do nothing.
I love it when the only safe place to survive is the “Mercer Bubble”

And what I love most of all is when idiotic “I Love Macon” pledges try to force me to speak positively about this city.”

The person who posted this is a friend/acquaintance/guy I know who goes to my school. Before proceeding, allow me to lay out some Important Preliminary Facts:  my school is 70-75%  white (mostly middle  or upper-middle class), my school has an open campus that is surrounded by poor black folk, the poster of this status is white and he was responding to this campaign.

If you didn’t read that article, go back and read it now. It’s important to read because it clearly demonstrates two important points: the people behind this campaign are aware that Macon’s problems are not necessarily unique and they are trying to confront those problems with positive energy. I don’t think the campaign is brilliant or anything, but considering how frequently I hear people shit on the city for no good reason, I think it’s in good spirit, especially since the campaign is aware of its silliness. The poster of this very offensive Facebook status, who I will now refer to as Sunbeam Guy, is understandably skeptical of the campaign. Honestly, amidst some of his racism and classism, there are some good points. No doubt, Macon can do better.

That being said, most of the problems he outlines are personal problems, like the problem of his racism. It depresses me when I hear about white folks at my school being scared of “ghetto” black folks. You know why? BECAUSE GHETTONESS IS ARBITRARY. The only criteria used to determined “ghettoness” are familiarity and black skin. This means two things: 1) at all times I am one step removed from being the ghetto, fear-inducing Other and 2) All of my social relationships [with these particular white folks] are solely predicated upon  my being familiar.  In other words, I am “safe” solely because I can be identified. I am one of the “good ones,” the trustworthy ones. Based on this type of racism I can be assured that if I encounter a white person who doesn’t know me or who doesn’t identify me as a member of the community, I am instantly transfigured from Stephen Kearse to Trayvon Martin. This is unacceptable.

In fact, this is why Trayvon Martin was murdered. This fear of black bodies, this need to identity them, to “confirm” their right to belong is exactly why he was murdered. You may think that you fear black people outside of campus, but the truth is that you fear the black folks on campus as well. Like I said earlier, the only difference between me and them is the fact that you know me. Literally, all it takes for you to fear me is a brief moment of misrecognition. That’s fucked up.

I don’t want you to fear me. In fact, I’d rather you feel indifferent to me than to subject me to this type of prejudicial surveillance. But my feelings don’t matter, apparently. You’ve independently decided how to deal with me and my “ilk.”

I’m not the spokesperson for black people (hint: there’s no such thing), but Guy, I have a message for you and people who think like you, specifically Mercerians: there’s no such thing as “The Mercer Bubble.” The Mercer Bubble is a racist, classist, provincial, insular, narrow-minded, stupid, deluded, arbitrary and ironically unsafe chimera generated by people like you who arrogantly believe that safety can somehow be guaranteed.

What’s truly funny to me is that until your retreat into the bubble, I hadn’t realized how unsafe I am. For 4 years, I’ve walked around campus thinking that I was among folks with the ability to think. Turns out I was wrong. At any given moment, without thought, you and your people (by this I mean the 50+ people who liked your Facebook and the dozens who would have liked it if they had read it) can resort to knee-jerk, parochial and bigoted views and indefinitely suspend my identity and self-determination as well as your own ability to think. How silly of me. I’ve been telling myself that I’m Stephen Kearse, but the truth is that I’m Trayvon Martin.


10 thoughts on “This is Why Trayvon Was Murdered

  1. I have passed your blog onto the folks at the ‘I love Macon’ campaign, which I am part of. Yes, the campaign is silly and we know it, but if it starts more conversations like this, I think we have made an important dent. Thank you for taking the time to blog your thoughts.

  2. I have read and re-read the post submitted by “Sunbeam Guy,” and while I definitely recognized threads of racism, I also see that some of his lamentations cover issues that befall all of us. His disdain of lawmakers/keepers handling of rape cases there was no indication that they handled black cases differently, as they certainly may have, than a white victim. He pointed out how he was discouraged by “homophobic racist sexist old money rednecks,” is that an indication that he is not intolerant of things of this nature, I.e., blacks, women, homosexuals? As a black woman who’s lived in Harlem New York, (my home), Compton/Watts, CA, I. Have experienced fear in certain circumstances in my surroundings; I’ve also experienced the frustrations of things being stolen, family member carjacked, and as an R.N,B.S.N., have seen the doctors blame the victim of aids with a kind of “we’ll what do you expect,” approach. But with that being said, I agree with you in that don’t tell I’m not like that because I use proper English, or live in a nice neighborhood,
    or instill education as important to my children, and can still fear me if I’m in a different environment and instant recognition is absent. You can’t determine who wears a white hat and who wears a black hat based simply on stereotypes. I just came across your blog and I’m planning to follow you in my inbox most definitely.

    • Hi Ellen.

      Thanks for reading and sharing. I definitely agree that he highlights some unfair circumstances. I actually think that’s why his racist rhetoric really gets at me. He’s clearly aware of acute discrimination(s), but the way he frames his complaints regurgitates those discriminations without self-reflection. The fight against racism and other structural issues isn’t won by reproducing racism. It’s won by stopping the production of racism and addressing issues in ways that empower and enrich.

  3. An excellent insight into what was really being said, seems as if that should have been a little clearer to me. It appears that in my quest to create a “kumbayah” moment I, inadvertently, gave him a pass he actually didn’t deserve. Don’t misunderstand I saw racism, but I thought he was contributing these things to those on the fringes of society so to speak. Great blog spot that I’m using to dialogue with my 16 year old son.

  4. Pingback: Inside the Sketch Factory | The Black Tongue

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